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Oct. 26th, 2008 | 10:37 pm

I shall try to avoid emotional word vomit in this entry. Here we go.

From my previous conversations with D and several viewings of TED talks later, I think I've pretty much reaffirmed my goals and views on life. To affect real change I think, the younger generation needs to be addressed. Now I'm not saying that we should further the childification process of future generations, but if you think about it the future will have to address even more problems and encounter new things that you and I will never even have the ability to, since it's way over our lifetimes (and heads). BUT OF course I'm not trying to justify treating younger people as children, absolutely not! If anything, we should get the same treatment as others! But anyway... As we try to find solutions to the problems in our ever-increasingly complex world, new issues emerge and more problems present themselves. Things that were passed off as insignificant now more than ever, play a huge role in the process of things. Meritocracy has never been addressed more than it has now. Life back then was just based on the individual's sense of resilience and merit - now affirmative action and other socioeconomic reforms have taken place to give people even more opportunities and chances for a better life. Controversy ensues and people are left debating on issues they feel are more "right" than "wrong".

Kids will grow up into adults. And these adults will have to face these issues. They need to prepare. They don't need over stimulation, media attention, or capitalist exploitation. What kids need is the ability to resolve problems, logical reasoning, and self-sufficiency. Another reason on why computers shouldn't be in kindergarten or lower grade school classrooms. Instill in them integrity, hard work, and an extreme optimism for the future and they will change the world. I hope i will be able to, though i haven't been imbued with any of these things. I want to help people, to change lives, and to make the world a more pleasant place to live.

The horrible part is only getting there. Doing it is fun, but getting to that point is hard. It requires studying :( which is not necessarily my cup of tea.


okay time for my introspective moment. Life has been relatively low key. I went out with D and D yesterday in pursuit of sustenance after a hard day's work. In need of a good place to eat, we went to downtown San Diego to a pretty swingin' Jive called George's. I will not lie, I was intimidated. The nightlife around this area was quite "hip" in an upper middle/rich class late 30s/middle-aged kind of way. There were art galleries for DAYS not to mention the pricey food joints around this area. I decided to start a semi-controversial game in our trio which consisted of finding as many black people as possible. Considering the difficulty of this game, I decided that whoever got to 5 first won. We only got to 4. The majority of the people we saw were very well-off caucasian people. Which is fine, but from where I come from, having a diverse socioeconomic spectrum of people is a norm. I get pretty intimidated if there's only one type of person in any given location, especially if this type of person happens to come from an American elitist perspective, which is hypocritical in itself because i am somewhat elitist coming from the A, but yea, not good times, more like pretentious times. All bad, no good. Nothing can come from living in an area that doesn't represent the true faces of the real world. There's no cultural insight or stereotypical enlightenment being addressed. I'm pretty lucky to be born and raised in an area where there were a BUNCH of ethnic minorities. I love my N.CA!

Okay i'm out time to finish reading up on ethnic studies.

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(no subject)

Oct. 17th, 2008 | 02:18 pm

I think there was a time in my life when I enjoyed writing, like ACTUAL writing -for myself- not the 5-paragraph essays we were assigned back in grade school, but writing for the sole reason of writing. Then somewhere along the lines, I lost this interest. Hrm it's such a shame too, I thought I was a good writer even though i didn't read for shiet. Man, better start reading on those economist magazines!

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(no subject)

Oct. 12th, 2008 | 09:58 pm

To get my literary juices flowin' I thought it it'd be best to post an entry in my livejournal before wrestling with the mammoth of a paper I will be writing soon. Let's begin:

This week has been relatively mellow. I spent the majority of my free time studying for chemistry and I've realized how awesome it is to meet people from different backgrounds who feel exactly the same way as you do. It is so refreshing to meet new people who understand you. Definitely an awesome feeling. And a cute person at that! But i digress.

Having gone though the week worrying about absolutely nothing but my own well-being (which i guess is normal since I have AMPLE amounts of work that needs to be done), I've kind of lost the appetite to volunteer my time towards a cause (or whatever is left of it). I'm feeling unimportant now, mellow, and far from prideful. When i was in HS, I had a position, a cause, a purpose I was working towards, and, o course, time to make my dreams come to fruition. Now I am making my dreams come true, only, it's for me and no one else. I need to crank up my ability and i need to get some work done. So Time to end this entry and start working! I need the extra minutes to start changing the world and my life.


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College and its misgivins

Oct. 9th, 2008 | 11:00 pm

In order to make use of my time and do something productive/beneficial, I shall start writing a weekly blog about my life's happenings and occurrences. Here you will find a myriad of things: my thoughts, my interests, my hobbies, and of course, the extensive use of the word 'dude', as well as the worst sentence structure, grammar, and vocabulary ever to be published in all of live journal. Writing's just not mah thang! But Imma try it anyways cause I lik it! ;D

So here goes.

It's weird how social relationships work. Well, to me it is. For some, socializing comes naturally, for others, not so much. Hi, my name is ***** and I am antisocial. Yes, I will say it: admitting you're antisocial is the hardest, but most fundamental step to overcoming this antisocialism we've nurtured deep into our hearts and from time to time, exude with malicious "pride". Sometimes I do long from companions, but the only thing stopping me is myself...I think. For some reason, I have this theory that everyone is just cynical as I am and judgmental to the point where small talk abruptly ends with complete, utter, and awkward silence, followed with the need too get away from that person as quickly as possible. Do I exude the personality for small talk or fakeness? I feel like people don't think i have the capacity for a meaningful or fulfilling conversation. Maybe I should start acting like myself more often. God knows its hard enough to live with complete strangers, did he also have to bless us with an overbearing sense of insecurity?

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Jul. 28th, 2008 | 10:36 pm

Summer days pass by much more slowly when you're being productive.

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a LAZY summer day

Jul. 7th, 2008 | 11:31 pm

Summer has started and my goals have yet to be realized; going fishing, learning archery, reading books, and saving the world are just some to name a few. And though I am getting extremely up to date on my Anime intake, I am doing nothing that I expected of myself. I hate how I am busy writing this entry about how I'm not going anything for my own personal gain (except leisurely maybe) and not DOING ANYTHING! AGH 

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Note to Self*

Jun. 23rd, 2008 | 09:57 pm

I hate thinking, acting, or even feeling like I'm being pretentious! So note to self: don't act pretentious. Even though it's in your blood or nature, don't do it! Dx

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The Long Journey

Jun. 14th, 2008 | 07:36 am

Graduation took place last night and though I am relieved that my four years at this godforsaken public institution of DEATH is over, I'm feeling quite nostalgic and even slightly depressed. There's so much I still have to accomplish- so much I still want to do before I leave ******* behind. I realize now the importance of friendship and its effect on how us young individuals grow. That's one of the things I really regret; not making/establishing a stable base of friends. I only hope that college would have the siilar people I could talk to, laugh with, make fun of, abuse at some instances, chill with, and all the things being a friend entails.

and oh yeah, I don't know if this is normal, but knowing my dad, it probably is. I left graduation early with the intent of not taking pictures with anyone (due to my own stupidity) because I never really had any close friends to take pictures with (the ones I already want pictures from, I already have). Now I regret it, but above that, my dad was acting like a complete d*** the whole night. It really got me thinking about myself as a person and why he has these bouts of disappointment. I mean, I try hard, I get good grades, I get involved, I hold leadership positions, I get scholarships, but why doesn't he show the enthusiasm I want him to? Maybe my perception of what elation feels like is too extravagant or maybe I'm not up to par with his standards. Sometimes I feel as though my life, my sisters' lives, and my mother's life would be a lot easier if we had just been born as boys. These thoughts just get me into thinking about all sorts of things that I don't want to deal with; family matters, being one of them.

Well I'm going off now, as a graduate of high school out into the world. Will I get involved this summer, I hope so, will I change tehe world, I hope so, will I get off my computer and lazy ass and do these things? I REALLY hope so.

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LBGT movies and AP apathy

May. 3rd, 2008 | 10:36 pm

Man am I 'confused'. Call me impressionable, but I just watched Saving face the other day (starring Michelle Krusiec and Lynn Chen) and boy, was it HOTS. It's so good, in fact, I may even be questioning my sexual orientation. Watching this movie then lead to a whole world of bisexual cultural exploration which i spent the better half of my day doing on youtube and through other means of media attainment.

Any who, I've seriously neglected my Ap studies. I think I'm very apathetic right now which leads to no good (esp. since APS are coming up). I sitll have to memorize these four sheets of information I received from Gov. Oh well, I'm not as stressed as I thought I would be though. Hopefully in college, I won't have to rely on my computer as much to live my life (ugh). Tis the tragedy of an AGD.

I'll talk more later, must get this memorization done. I've already given up on studying formt he book, might as well try to memorize four measly pieces of paper.

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Rejection is a Bitch

Apr. 26th, 2008 | 12:24 am

Deal with it! : )
Life moves on!

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